Placebic Phrases

to soothe the mind of;


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Reflection

I feel like I’ve been a complete asshole (pardon my French) this week. I’m constantly doing or saying mean things to people, apologizing afterwards but doing it yet again the next day. This is not a healthy thing for me to do, but I can’t help it.

Actually, yes I can – saying ‘I can’t help it’ is such a passive and defeatist attitude. I have to admit, I’m quite a quick-tempered, insecure, and moody person, and although everything that I’m insecure about has something to do with what has happened in the past, the people in the present do not know of it. How is it their fault that they do things that I’m not comfortable with, if they don’t even know that I’m not comfortable with it? 

It’s about time I grew up and stopped blaming everything that I do as a result of the past. 

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SKU SUX

It’s barely been two months in and we’re all up to our necks in assignments and commitments – those I can manage, but oh Lord, when it comes to social interactions I really feel deprived – I miss my best friends, and I miss my mother (despite the fact that we live in the same house) like ay we’re so close yet so far and I totally blame school for that. 

Not to sound insulting but this is the least prestigious school I’ve attended yet this is the one that gives me the most stress like what’s up with that? I actually like being stressed out about school work (super nerd, sorry) like, it gives me a sense of purpose and something to work towards, and have a sense of accomplishment for once I’m done but oh my goodness giving us graded work as soon as we start school, and barely after we’re getting the hang of the new things that we’re learning – bat poop insane. 

Will definitely update on Wednesday or Friday, since I’ll be about done with one major assignment, and school ends pretty okay-ish/ early then. Miss expressing myself here, and miss the excitement of looking out for comments and what not.

I love you mah blog, don’t you worry your pretty little head off alright?